Get Into the Groove: All Things Glossier

OK-- no surprise here that I would start with my cult obsession that is Glossier.

From the marketing to the branding, the products and the packaging -- I'm constantly checking their Instagram and suffering from FOMO...G. (I'm hoping that statement clearly and effectively translates my feelings.)

Not going bananas with 8 billion different blog posts about each product because I don't love ANYTHING that much... but, one blog with my faves and raves was a must.

Here. We. Go.


Milky Jelly Cleanser: 

Let me start with saying that I have weird, weird skin. My forehead is a grease machine and my cheeks are like the Sahara Desert, so I usually double cleanse my face. For a long time I have avoided wearing eye makeup because a.) I think it ages me and b.) I HATE rubbing my eyes with anything. Period. Cotton balls, wipes, I don't care... worst sensation on such a sensitive area.

But then I watched the YouTube video on this stuff and I have to say... 100% slam dunk. Nailed it. Best. Makeup Remover. Ever. I thought that because it's a jelly, I'd have to wash my face again immediately because it would feel greasy, but nope. Most importantly -- it is the best stuff I have ever used to take off makeup, especially in the eye region. And here's why: the main solution to the jelly is what they use in contact solution. I can open my eyes at ANY point and it doesn't burn, I don't have to use any paper products (amazing), AND it gets off every bit of my eye makeup. And I know this because I use white towels and immediately pat my face after I use it and...voila. Zero makeup.

There is a texture aspect to it that some may hate, but I don't even notice it anymore. I apply it to dry skin (bear with me) and rub off the makeup and IF you can stand that for 55 seconds... you will be so impressed.



Boy Brow:

It's a well-known fact that FOR YEARS (and years) women with sculpted, amazingly arched eyebrows were not only blessed with sensational RBF, but also -- they had a look (acquired naturally) that women paid tons of bread to achieve. If you were blessed with this, then I hope you have enjoyed the last 33 years of my life; slow clap for you. Guess who WASN'T given thinly arched eyebrows from the DNA pool. (It's me.)

But now...Now who gets the last laugh? (Also, when did I get bitter about this and wow, this has taken an aggressive tone.) But seriously, FINALLY, thick eyebrows get their day. I have had them my entire life and have (pathetically) begged estheticians for years to "take off more" and they have REFUSED me every time. Now... I'm glad they did.

Having said that, some of my eyebrow hair is lighter than other parts, so this product has changed the game for me. Look it up: one of THE best sellers of this type of brow fill in....mainly because it's subtle, but does an amazing job of filling in the gaps. It comes in three shades: Brown, Blonde, and Black (sorry, redheads... you're going to have to shine on a little bit longer; they don't make one in your shade -- that's sad to me, but I think they're working on it). I use the blonde shade and it's plenty dark enough for my eyebrows. In fact, it's the exact shade of my eyebrows, but the models who have lighter brows than me pull off blonde with no problem.

The same pomade that works in mustache pomade or wax is used in this stuff, so your eyebrows never get crunchy.  If you like wearing minimal makeup (like I do), then this can shape your face in a low key, natural way. Plus, it's hella easy to apply and pretty impossible to mess up. Last, but not least, when this stuff first came out, they had a waiting list of 10,000 (so what does that tell you about their marketing strategies...clever, clever).


Haloscope:

This was my gateway drug into Glossier. I was out having one of those "last nights in New York" with some friends and under the dance floor lights (no, I am not making this up), I noticed that my friend Traci's skin was GORGEOUS. It looked super luminous, really healthy, and not at ALL glittery. I just assumed it was her moisturizer and great genes but turns out... it was this stuff. When I ordered it in August there was a six week waiting list.

I am absolutely serious. And I absolutely bought both original shades. One (Topaz) is for darker skin hues or a summer look (at least for me, because I am incredibly fair skinned), and the second one (Quartz -- probably their best seller between all three) is more universal. There is a third one I haven't tried yet, but I'm sure it's amazing. There's a special formulation to the center of the product and it comes in a stick. Easy to apply, looks super natural, takes zero time, and almost impossible to mess up....although I have managed to do so when I couldn't figure out that one stroke was enough.


So, those are my favorites. They have a new product that I'm dying to try out called Cloud Paint and (because they are marketing geniuses), they chose to debut it on the red carpet of the Oscars this year. Low key, they killed it. Google which faces were wearing it and then do yourself a favor and stalk their videos, webpage, and Instagram. You're welcome.